A SUCCESS STORY
imagined myself having lots of kids. I wanted a big family!
married when I was 26. I was still in school and working toward my career. I
had an IUD in place because it was too early to get pregnant. My husband was
still in school too. We were both on the career track. With an IUD in place
there was no chance of pregnancy. Time passed. I finished school and got a job.
I started enjoying the life that came with not having to study all of the time.
My husband finished up his schooling too. We traveled a lot and went to some
wonderful places. We got a dog and he became our “baby”. He got all of our
spare love. I felt my life was heading in the right direction. I always knew I
wanted children but I was not in a rush. My mother had me when she was an
astounding 42 years old so I never really thought about hurrying up to get
pregnant. I knew it would happen when I was ready.
out that things did not work about between us which really upset my life. I was
a real homebody and my life revolved around my family. I tried getting married
again but that was not thought out well and we too split up shortly after my
first daughter was born. Having my daughter was the best thing that ever
happened to me though – so it was worth it!
I had been
an only child growing up and did not come from a big family. I wanted my first
daughter to have more family than just me. As time passed I realized I wanted
more than one child. Getting married again was not looking like a good
probability. I was too busy and happy spending time with my daughter. I could
not imagine taking time away from her to husband hunt.
off trying to have a baby using a sperm donor with intrauterine inseminations
for 3 years. Each attempt was a re-commitment to my desire to have another
child. It was very expensive since I had to pay for each try! It was definitely
cheaper to get pregnant the old fashioned way! I envied those who had multiple
children seemingly without much effort. Every month I was working to buy vials
of sperm. I started off doing off doing my own inseminations but since I was not
getting pregnant I ended up paying a midwife to inject the sperm. This went on
and on. No pregnancy.
told me a story about another patient. She told me that this woman also came to
her for IUI Inseminations in the hopes of having a a baby. She was older than
me and eventually decided to try for pregnancy using a sperm and egg donor. She
got pregnant with her first child. She was very happy and it didn’t bother her
that the eggs were not her own – she was simply happy to finally have her own child.
The midwife told me that she even
decided to go for another child with the same donors. Eventually she had the
children she always wanted. The midwife suggested I give it a try.
I had not
anticipated having a hard time getting pregnant. I thought about my options. I
saw a fertility specialist who told me I could try an IVF cycle but the odds of
getting pregnant with one attempt were not good. I had heard of some people
trying IVF over and over again, spending a fortune, and ending up without a
child and broke. I could not afford to get on the IVF merry-go-round.
thing I knew is that I wanted very badly to have another child. I considered
adoption but I knew it wasn’t the option for me. I had heard horror stories
about birth mom’s returning to claim their children and devastating the lives
of the adoptive parents. I knew I couldn’t handle that at all. I considered
overseas adoption as well. I really liked the idea of helping a child in need,
but was very aware that as a single parent my options would be limited.
And so I
came into the world of egg donation. I found a donor who matched my ethnic
background, was in school studying the same subject I studied, and had my hair
and eye color. Her baby pictures looked like mine. I was happy with her. I did
find one other donor that I considered briefly, but she was from an Ivy League
school and was on of those “extraordinary donors” that some agencies specialize.
She wanted a huge amount of money. While her background was impressive I was
certainly not an Ivy League and her qualifications were not necessary for me.
My donor was in a good school and close to home. She had goals and talents much
more like my own and the compensation fee was much more reasonable.
was simple. The Doctor aligned my monthly cycle with the donors’ so that we
were at the midpoint of our cycles together. For a couple of weeks I had to
give myself shots and go in to get blood drawn and ultrasound tests.
egg retrieval my doctor called to say that she had six eggs and that they were
all fertilized. She was going to freeze three and implant three a few days
after the retrieval. I came in for the transfer of my embryos in a real state
of excitement. This was my best chance at having the child I wanted so badly!
My doctor used an ultrasound to get the embryos in place. It didn’t hurt at
all! I went home later, lay on the couch, and talked to God. I told him that I
wanted this baby so bad and that if he would give me this child I would promise
to always do my best to be a great mother and give this child every opportunity
I could afford. I did a lot of talking – and I guess he was listening.
I was told
to go back in after 2 weeks for a pregnancy test. I couldn’t wait! I used a
home test a couple of days earlier and – YAHOO! – I was pregnant!! I thought
maybe it was a mistake, but the doctors confirmed it. I was finally pregnant!!
I was so happy!!
My baby girl
was born a week early. I had a C-Section because she was breech. They used a
spinal anesthetic and I was awake for the birth. Seeing my baby for the first
time was the most amazing and wonderful feeling. She was so beautiful!
came to the hospital with me. I didn’t know how he’d react to this
nontraditional baby. He is really old fashioned but he accepted my choice and
was there for the birth. I have some wonderful photos of him holding my new
daughter in the recovery room. My mother died a year before she was born and my
father said many times that he knew my mother would have lobed to be there. It
made me sad that she wasn’t there to see her born.
sister was just crazy about her too! She hand crocheted a baby blanket for her!
She was so happy that she finally had a sibling . They have been best friends
children has been the best experience I have ever had. I never think about my
second child being different just because she was conceived through egg
donation. I relate to both of my children the same way. I tell them both how
much I love them every day. As my baby girl gets older I will have to decide
how and when I will tell her about being a donor baby. I’ve started a
collection of hand painted eggs for her and each time she gets one, I tell her
that she came from a very special egg. I want her to know who she is but I
mostly want her to know how much she is loved.
I want to
wish you all the best in your quest for a child. Egg donation was the right
option for me. My story had a happy ending!
for you and your family,
A former “Intended